During the last few days of 2015 I met Veronica & we spent a few nights together. This is her writing…

We meet at Bula Kafe, your eyes piercing as we embrace. We buy 2 kratom teas and sit on the couch. I take an open position, sitting towards you with one leg bent up on the couch at my side.

We talk about words. How they can slice you open with their power and infect you with new light. I have never told anyone my feelings about this before. We share the words that have resonated in our lives. ‘Notice’ is the one behind your story. I tell you about ‘curb’ helping me quit cigarettes.

I propose my favorite improv game. It’s a quick glimpse into a person’s direction of thought and yours is a bit tangential. You have trouble remembering the words we have already used in the game, one of the only rules. I can see you become physically uncomfortable by this. I can see that you do not like to conform. I can see that this will be a fun night.

We swing by my house to pick up instruments and head to the beach. The kratom is working its way through your bloodstream and you become nauseous. I feel responsible but know it will pass. We park and listen to music. I play my ukulele. The discomfort subsides and you show me a crystal. I enclose it in my palm and know that it will belong to me. I put it in my bra, next to my heart.

We arrive at the beach and I see the place I want to sit. Two Palm trees and a dock. You point out the moon but it’s not the moon, just a bright light from a building in Tampa. It alerts me that you’re more altered than I thought. We lay our blankets down and you play my new drum. It sounds like Tibetan singing bowls. We don’t speak. I close my eyes and center my third eye.

I begin singing my repertoire of ukulele songs. You are drawing on my foot and arm as I sway. A woman appears behind us and cautiously calls our attention. I expect her to ask for money as she is crying, but she has no intention to do so. She tells us that the songs I’ve played are beautiful and she needed to hear them. We both accept her yet still she tells us we don’t understand. We have no idea how bad she needed it. Then she wishes us a happy full moon. I look up and realize you were right. That bright light, now beaming across the ocean to lap at our feet, is indeed the moon.

The touching begins. You rub my back. I draw my lips down your arm. We find ourselves laying face to face. We find ourselves sharing breath. We find each other’s lips and connect. You put pressure against a tree with your feet, arching your back off the ground as you let out a howl. I wait for your lips to join mine again but you stop to savor the moment.

We ask each other if this life is real.

It’s time to find a bed and I can’t provide one.  You take us to a local hotel and get a room for the night. I’m cold from the beach. You lift the covers on the bed and I dive under them. You join me in the fort and begin massaging the front of my body. Our skin is surrounded by the stark white of the sheets. All the things are pure.

I wear a different crystal necklace that belongs to you. The one that you haven’t gifted me. I grasp it with one hand and put the other on your head as you send vibrations to my clit with your tongue. The energy channels through my heart and head and into the crystal. My intention is set.

We both play with intention. We both feel joy equally. We both orgasm accordingly.

We are lying together. You tell me again that I am beautiful, aiming to sink your message further into me. You must have sensed that I didn’t fully receive the initial one. You tell me how excited you are for the beautiful things I will do in this life. I shed tears knowing that you really see me. I shed tears for every compliment about my voice, my words, the way my body moves, and every thing I do to show love that other people don’t pick up on.

You offer to drive me home but I insist on an uber. You walk me downstairs and hold me as the car arrives. You tell me that you love me. I tell you the same. We only met 5 hours ago.

I finally got the sexual attention I’ve deserved my entire life. I feel centered, peaceful, full of joy. My body and mind are floating effortlessly with each step.

You book another night in the hotel. I knew you would. I’m curious about the decision to see each other again. I hope that our second night won’t ruin the perfect experience already had. We are texting streams of endearing emojis to each other. Lollipops and unicorns. You tell me you’re hopping in the shower and that the door is ajar. We meet at 9pm, the same time as yesterday.

Within seconds I’m in the shower with you. The open mouthed grin you have perfected over your lifetime invites me through the glass. I will remember that image for ever.

I wear your crystal again. It’s waiting on the bed for me as a placeholder. We light a palo santo stick and perform cleansing ceremonies on each other. I smudge a star with it on both our hearts. Then we light 6 candles, choosing 3 intentions each. You choose transcendence, ecstasy, and home. I choose depth, trust, and magic.

The vibrations on my clit this time are more intense. I want to orgasm but you pull back every time I’m close. I think you’re doing this on purpose, I want to believe you are. I become desperate to go over the edge. I decide to stop this reaction and enter a meditative state. I silence myself. I focus on breath. My jaw starts to quiver. My finger tips are buzzing. Everything else is tingling.

You penetrate me in a position I don’t normally explore. On our sides facing each other, one of my legs propped up on your shoulder. It feels like heaven. I wonder if this is a normal position for you.

There is sweat and more tears. All intentions are noticed and bad habits curbed.

I want to leave you with something so I rustle though my bag. I find you a random lollipop. You want it to taste like me. I insert it inside me and leave it on the bedside table. The next day we laugh about the coincidence of our previous lollipop emojis.


1892 1047 Max Osiris

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